So I remembered Rebeccas challenge a long time ago to write a story based on the first line of a song, or a good song lyric.
Then I also remembered the 'Found Poetry' we did during one of our free writes.
So, what I did was put my ipod on shuffle and took the first lines from the songs that came up.
I then reorganized every word into a poem.
This actually took me much longer than intended, but I believe the result is pretty okay, I sculpted them fully into my own creation.
Here are the lines I used:
Here, a little sympathy for you to waste on me
I want to be rich and I want lots of money
Oh what a noble distinguished collection of fine little friends that you've made
I'm in chains, you're in chains too
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
My friend has problems with winter and autumn
Daintier, smarter, better-dressed; antique high-heel red doll shoes
Turn your ugly face, are you so surprised to see me?
Willow weep for me, bow your tallest tree
I'm sitting in a room made up of only big white walls
I can't help myself; I'm addicted to a life of material
No walls can keep me protected
I’m standing on the bridge, I’m waiting in the dark
Turn around, every now and then
Do you recognize any of these one-liners? :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love and Longing in the Winter Rain
Here in this winter rain
I'm sitting in a Willow tree
I bow to my chains
and weep for autumn’s sympathy
(Fine chains round every room)
I’m standing in the dark on the tallest friend I have
the only noble friend,
waiting to be rich.
I collect red high-heel shoes
For the dolls in your empty house
made up of big white antique walls.
See me?
I’m on the roof,
in a life of material.
(you've made lots of ugly money to waste on me.)
I'm addicted.
to your face.
are you so surprised?
you're daintier, better dressed.
-
But I'm smarter.
No walls can help,
I can't take care of myself –
Keep me protected
I have problems and…
I want.
(a lot)
Oh turn me around,
And bridge now and then
Distinguish what can and can’t be.
-
I want you.
(a little)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So as you see I added my own punctuation in the style of found poetry...
Do you like it? :o
it may be a little forced / cheesy but you can only do so much with set words.
There were 4 words left over that I didnt use...
'of that with and'
and thats it!
So I challenge you guys to do the same cause this was actually really fun!
Like a big scramble game! :)
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
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"I want you.
ReplyDelete(a little)" << i love this line. i think its one of the stronger ones in this poem.
"I collect red high-heel shoes
For the dolls in your empty house" << i also think these couple of lines are really clever.
i must admit though i didn't really get a sense of what it was about. I mean, i know found poetry is supposed to be scattered, but.. id ont know.. maybe i'm just not a fan of soudn poetry unless it really, really works...
but your opening stanza is really nicely put together. sets the scene. its also hard when you're using personal pronouns, to incorporate all of these different lines that you have to include and then make them flow. so i get it.. but i wonder if it would have worked out better if there weren't so many personal pronouns in teh lyrics you chose...
I love this! And having done this with the bolded words from all our old posts I know its challenging but the product is always so interesting!
ReplyDeleteAnd although the meaning isn't exactly clear - its still fun because everyone interprets it in their own way (mine made no sense whatsoever but it had a central theme connecting each line :P)
I thought this was fun and interesting to read. I also like how you incorporated the lines that you included (and I only recognized two : 'the fear' by lily allen and 'im with you' by avril :P)
Good work. I'm glad people are accepting my challenge.
Hmm, I feel compelled to do one now, but I fear I'll just end up with something forced. I really enjoyed your creativity here Jordan, and I also like how Rebecca's started something thats catching on :D I really enjoyed your mechanics, very personal.
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