Ode to the first snowfall
New fallen snow, a beauty scarce appreciated.
A white so pure it shines brighter than the sun.
A pristine blanket preserving the earth below.
The wonder of a million snowflakes becoming one.
A picture perfect landscape in immaculate white.
Its glistening rays of light illuminate the gray winter sky.
Left undisturbed, it engulfs all in a diamond-laden sheath.
A seamless bed where crystals lie.
The world embraced by calm serenity.
Tranquility only nature can achieve.
The triumph of the winter skies rests upon the earth.
A majestic harmony that reminds you to believe.
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So here is my ode for writers craft. Clearly, I decided to write it on the beauty of fresh snow. I had a lot of difficulty writing this. I think snow is absolutely beautiful but I had struggles immersing myself in it and writing an entire poem solely on how I think it is beautiful. Do you think that this ode is effective? Did I portray the snows beauty adequately?
Also, I had some difficulty comprehending the structure of the meditative ode. I tried to base the first stanza on the description Then the second was the extended meditation. This is the part I had the most difficulty with, did I convey this part properly? Lastly, the final stanza was supposed to be a realization or insight but I don't think I was able to fully achieve this.
So what are your suggestions? How can I improve on the 'Ode' structure? Is the theme clear? Any other likes or dislikes or improvements?
Also I think it needs a better title. One that connects to the theme and has meaning. Any ideas?
Your suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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it might have been difficult but i don't think it comes across forced at all. you had a lot of good flow and imagery, especially since it is diffiuclt to write about only a few aspects of an object. good piece
ReplyDeleteare you handing this one in?
Hrm I really like this, particularly the end.
ReplyDeleteNormally when writing about snow and winter it's easy to fall into cliche statements, but you managed to avoid them and come up with new, beautiful and accurate ways to describe the scene. Very nice :D
I loved this simply because i love snow!
ReplyDeleteLike jordan said, you did a great job at avoiding cliches, which is great. I'd give you constructive feedback but I can't because I have no idea how to properly write odes lol. Great imagery though, I love your selection of words