MURDER MYSTERY!

This started as my story that was supposed to start in medias res...
I ended up extending it and deciding I liked it better as the launching point for a story.

There was an odd smell in the air. I couldn’t place exactly what it was, but it was strong enough to pull me from the climax of the book I was reading (and it was a really good book – a murder mystery! How ironic.). It was as though someone decided to dump a pile of garbage into the oven. It smelt like something was burning, cooking... and there was an unpleasant sweetness underneath the scent... So, I got up from my seat my room and walked down to the kitchen. I found it empty, however, and the smell grew stronger as I headed down the hall, towards the family room. That is where I looked in on the fireplace, burning brilliantly; the room was dulled with a toxic dark smoke. Sticking out awkwardly from the fireplace, looking odd and otherworldly as if from a twisted nightmare, was a pair of legs.

It started just like any traditional Christmas night, except much more decadent and pricey, of course. Our family sat around the dazzling Christmas tree, laughing and talking, cheeks rosy with the warmth of eggnog and wine. We were all sprawled out on the beautiful upholstered couches, lit by the toasty fire and looking out through the frosted windows. Through the foggy glass we were all able to see the ‘Winter Wonderland’ they sing about. The huge property was covered in snow, like a layer of crystal covering everything in sight. Despite the outward beauty of the snow falling gently, the reality was much less appealing. Everything underneath the coat of snow was dying, the chilling cold piercing anything that decided to step out into this unfortunate weather. The view outside seemed to mirror the one within. We were all dressed up, looking our best and our bellies were filled to the brim with decadent amounts of turkey. Still, for all our hearty laughs and light pleasantries the façade was underlined by a heavy tension between us. This same tension is what caused everything to explode into chaos when we found, instead of chestnuts, our fathers body roasting in the fireplace.

I’ll start by telling you about me and my siblings. The youngest one is little brother Joshua Whitaker. The let-down of the family, the jobless leech on society, the alcohol dependant, lazy, dirty slob. Must I go on? No, talking about him has me feeling fatigued already.
Next up is me. Sure, my family may be very well known in the districts of business and power, but I’m putting my family out there in the world of fashion! My fashion lines are beginning to create rifts that can be seen around the world! I am the main model of my fashion lines of course. My goal is to push myself out into the public’s eye. You know, make myself a household name... or at least a household name in the fashionable families, the ones who matter. In their fur coats and leather thigh highs they’ll be saying;“Have you seen the latest fashion pieces from Alexis Whitakers recent line?”“Oh, yes, I could hardly restrain myself from jumping up onto the runway and stealing some of those darling shoes”

But anyway, enough about me; the next born was Jeremy. Jeremy is my dearest older brother. He seems to be one of the few in this family who are really able to understand me. Jeremy has a hotel line, which he co-owns with our sister Sandra, who I’ll get to later. Regardless, Jeremy has the looks, the brains, the wealth and the whole package (and he damn well knows it). He doesn’t let the ladies forget it either. I can’t even count how many girlfriends he has in a month. I don’t think he could ever settle down with any one woman. Maybe he should move to a polygamist cult! Aha!

Maria was the fourth born... Maria, Maria, Maria... She always thought she was prettier than me. She might have been at one point but, after mother died she became depressed, and a bit of a hermit. Next thing you know: she’s fat as a circus freak! If there’s one thing to be said about Maria it’s that she never does things in small amounts. If she does something, she does it big! (No pun intended). She moved up into the dreaded ‘plus sized modeling’... and who’s prettier now?

Speaking of not pretty I’m lead right along to Ruthie! Dearest Ruthie always wanted to amount to something big with dreams of stardom... When she failed miserably at everything she became quite disillusioned. She settled down as a secretary and got married to some boring man who she rarely even. How dreadfully boring. I’m pretty sure she resents us all for being so much better off than her.

Next is Russel. Russel was always the scary sibling. The bully, the one who always got his way. He wouldn’t let anything stop him from getting to the top. He is filthy rich and I mean filthy rich! Always porky, he was able to snag a gorgeous Russian woman through his money alone. Or at least I’m assuming it was his money, it’s not like his personality could have gotten him too far. Either way, that tycoon puts the rest of the family to shame, and we are certainly not poor.

Last in line is Sandra. Sandra Whitaker... Normally the oldest sibling bullies the rest... but she was always so very insecure and so easy to devastate. All of us younger siblings would put her through hell. I guess it was awfully shitty of us… she’s still pretty bitter. Set her off the wrong way and you’re in trouble! Being the hot-headed redhead she is it doesn’t take too much, either. She is very successful anyway, co-owning the hotel line with Jeremy...

And that is our family! So who on earth could have killed our dear daddy? It’s not like most of us needed the money... and the ones who do wouldn’t have the guts to actually pull of such a grand murder scheme anyway. So who decided to off the old man is the question? Who slammed the poker over the back of his head and shoved him into the burning hot coals of the fire? And even more frighteningly... why?

Excuse the odd formating... it's the fault of blogger.
So what do you think? Does it have potential? It's a little cliche but...
Also each character was essentially based off of one of the 7 deadly sins.
I figured that'd be an effective way to establish each character and their primary motives both in general and motives for the crime.
But yeah. How can I improve it? Could it make for an interesting story?
Be honest!