uhm. poem. not very good. bahhh.
I am uninspired;
I won't try to pretend
that what I've got to say
should be paired with a pen.
I am uninspired;
I cannot go on
with the blank page that haunts me
from dusk until dawn.
I am uninspired;
my secret is out!
I'll sit, instead, brooding -
I'll sit and i'll pout.
My shoelaces are tangled,
my tie doesn't match,
I'd rather play dress up
and don an eyepatch.
My fingers are twitching,
I'm losing my sight;
I cannot discern
between left and right!
My soul, it is gone,
and my mind's taken leave;
the dull haunting I suffer
cannot be conceived...
I am uninspired,
though I tell you, I fought!
alas, now, I'm alone
without one, single thought.
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hrmm my only real criticism for this poem is that the metre is unbalanced. There are a few awkward lines and stanzas. I think if you just spent a bit more time going through and making the rhythym and flow a bit more consistent.
ReplyDeleteAside from this it was cute though, I like the bit about how what you had to say shouldn't even be paired with a pen! A cute sort of... comparison?
:)
this is an interesting piece, doesn't have really any reasoning.
ReplyDeletemy only critisism is that i think some of the stanza's don't really add to the feel of the poem or are just really random.