Hey, this is my 20 line poem assignment. This poem is in my opinion a cleeshay, about a boy who's girlfriend breaks up with him, and now he is drowning his sorrows in liquor as a substitute for actual affection.
Enjoy.
Happy washes over me
as the shot glass begins to fall
the liquid love goes down with glee
I'm feeling ten feet tall
I am invincible
to all who might cross my path
liquid love by my mistress.
The slightest sound seem to make me laugh.
My speech slurred,
my vision blurred,
i take another dip
from liquid love my only friend.
Liquid love give me strength
to face my demons so,
i might stand straight with pride
in the morning glow.
The black veil of night drips over mine eye
as i depart of this scene,
of ghostly shadows on the floor,
and poor...lovesick...teens.
Hey i would love to hear what you thought of this piece, any suggestions, thanks.
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This was a very interesting poem. I would recommend having a consistant rhyme scheme to add to the flow of the poem. I would also try to incorporate the girlfriend, because she is the reason why he turned to drinking; so I think if he mentioned her it may add to the piece. good work and nice tone.
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