The name’s Bond. James Bond. The music to the James Bond movies plays in my head. But no, not for Sean Connery, not for Timothy Dalton, George Lazenby, Pierce Brosnan, Roger Moore or Daniel Craig, it was for Mrs. Abbott. She exited room 213 and the primary children shook in their shoes. Actually, I wouldn’t even say exited, that sounds too graceful, too proper. Mrs. Abbott did nothing gracefully, nothing you would consider normal. This woman was huge. Okay my apologies for the contradictions, but woman may not be the most correct word. I wouldn’t even refer to her as Mrs. If I didn’t have to. This thing was massive. I’m talking 5 foot 9 and at least 275. She wore the most hideous black skirts covering from mid stomach to breast height-can’t really tell what is stomach and what is breast, to her toes. It is big enough that it doesn’t cling to anything, which means it is enormous, and her massive man feet spread bull-legged out the bottom. She walks like she has hip replacements and back surgery every morning before she gets up. Her top half is normally covered in one 2XL turtle neck of either maroon, forest green, navy blue or black wool. The turtle neck was frumpy and thick and absolutely hideous. And it made you question what she was hiding under all of that. Oh and then you can not bear to understand that pain and fear caused to all of those which she makes eye contact with. MY GOD she’s atrocious. A monster, to say the least. She has dark, almost blackened teeth from her 4 coffee daily routines. And I only see her seven out of the 24 hours in a day so who knows how many more she gobbles up. Her frozen snarl that never leaves her flattened face. Her nose that droops down over her top lip and looks like it was smashed in by a frying pan. And her eyes, the greenest eyes I have ever seen. And no I am not talking gorgeous hazels or intriguing aqua’s. Forest green. Dark green. For the first two years I met Mrs. Abbott, I thought they were black, but if you look very closely they are a frightening dark green.
This is me free Write for the Bond song inspired one, #15 I believe.
I would appreciate some direction as to where I should take this as
I might continue it and edit it for my magnum opus.
Also I would like suggestions for a title!
Thanks
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This is an interesting piece - but I'm having trouble seeing how it relates to the opening line of 'James Bond.' Maybe you could relate the two characters more?
ReplyDeleteI like how descriptive you were in this. The reader can create a clear interpretation of the character.
If you're going to use it as your Magnum Opus, the only revision I can think of is to maybe develop her personality more. You described her physical appearance very well, so now you could try developing her nonphysical. Just a suggestion.
Ahaha, this made me laugh a lot.
ReplyDeleteThe more casual tone and first person perspective in this piece really added to the humor and ease of reading. I enjoyed it.
I do agree with Rebecca that the tie to the music was a little weaker than it could be though. And if you're going to use it as your magnum opus I would maybe consider elaborating a little more, and/or including a different ending, as I feel like this one is not very conclusive or impactful.
Other than that though, the vivid description and style of your writing were hilarious! :)